Peace & Love, Relationships

5 Things I Learned from the Black Love Documentary

Black Love DocumentaryAnyone who knows me will tell you that I have this ‘thing’ about L-O-V-E. I love love. I want to talk about it, be about it, give it, receive, live it – I just love LOVE!

Rewind a few weeks ago…well months ago with the debut of the Black Love Documentary. As an individual who is not a huge television watcher, I admittedly missed the debut, but was so happy to see its re airing shortly thereafter.

Hubby and I were on our last date night prior to our third son being born. After enjoying a lovely dinner and cupcake stop, we came back home to watch the first episode. Of course he was a little resistant at first, but we watched and we absolutely enjoyed it. I took the liberty of recording each episode so that I could watch at my leisure.

So, here is my confession – I am still watching the recorded episodes – over and over again! I liken it to little mini episodes of Love Jones (one of my favorite movies) as these couples allow us into the sacredness of their unions. I learned so much and acquired a newfound sense of appreciation for my own marriage.

5 Things I Learned from the Black Love Documentary

  1. Put your spouse first. Wow, this doesn’t seem like rocket science, but when one married couple stated just how important it was to do this – especially with children – it was a true “aha” moment for me. They went on to explain that if their spouse is doing well, the children will naturally be just fine.  I agree with the wife in that many mothers have a hard time with this concept. I admittedly could do a better job with this.
  2. Set ground rules. Duh! The same couple spoke on relationship ground rules such as frequency of love-making and initiating sex. The wife shared her perspective on how setting these ground rules forced her to be aware. As women we can all attest to that scrolling marquee of our “to do” list, right? Well, add your husband to that list. Ha!
  3. All  marriages are not created equal. In this social media dominated world that we live in, it is easy for the outsider to assume things about another’s life, marriage and lifestyle. Based on what a person chooses to show us we create our own narrative for their lives and some of us shift into comparison mode. After watching the levels of challenge that each couple faced, my faith in my my own marriage was elevated. There is a saying that says (I’m so bad with this…) if you throw everyone’s problems into a pile you will surely go back to retrieve your own.
  4. There is power in communication. One thing that was common in all the marriages featured in this documentary was communication. They talked to one another. They expressed their feelings – whether good or bad. If they needed help – they got it (i.e., pastoral counseling, advice from married friends, therapy, etc.). We have to communicate.
  5. Love conquers all. I can attest to this personally, but even moreso after hearing about what these couples conquered – all in the name of love. Infidelity, divorce, drugs, incarceration are just a few challenges that some of these couples had to combat. In the end – love conquers all.

So, do yourself a favor and look out for the next airing or check out the episodes online. You will not regret it.



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